I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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