we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
