i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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