I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
