she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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