Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
