I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
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