My room smells like vodka and shame
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
