first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Boobs are out for the taking
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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