craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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