I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
