***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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