We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
