Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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