I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My liver just had a heart attack.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
