is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
