I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
