Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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