Ambien. No doubt about it.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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