its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
