I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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