I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
