a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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