lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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