You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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