My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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