I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
