And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
