i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
