if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You ate ashes out of my bong
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
