high people should be assigned attendants
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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