he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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