tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
