They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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