i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
