So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
