am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
