I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
