So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
