I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
