Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
