Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
