So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm too high and old for this...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
