Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
