She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
