like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Pooping to opera.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
