I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
