I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
