apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
