hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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