tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Operation Purity has been aborted
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
