didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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