i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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