My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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